Not All Hatred is Undeserved
by Bondage Pikachu
Summary: When you're miserable, you need someone to be even more miserable than yourself. A slightly out of character mistake in the childhood of Blackfire and Starfire, marking the day that the true princess of Tamaran really began to loathe her sibling.


Author's Note: Hello! I'm here with a cute little story concerning the childhood of Blackfire and Starfire, slightly OOC and I can't say that I put an inordinate amount of thought into it. Made while I waited for friends to reply to me on msn. It took me two days, and I have no beta reader. This is a rewrite of a scene from the anime Elfen Lied, starring Blackfire and Starfire because I thought that it seemed fitting and would be fun to show Blackfire as a child with still some capacity for love left. Enjoy!

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Soft night air tingled against her skin and she cringed from the iciness it held, fiercely rubbing her upper arm with one hand. It was a shame that the traditional garb of her planet did not include sleeves, and as one of the princesses, she was forced to wear such clothing even when the day was void of any special occasion. In her left hand she held a plate, decorated with extravagant designs and on top of it rested a sweet-smelling pile of the prized vorka berries of her planet, its warmth seeping through the cold platter and into her fingertips, as if substituting for the power she always wished for. It took quite a large amount of willpower to keep from giving herself away by the noise of her chattering teeth, maximized by the still silence of the night. Foliage crunched underneath her shoes as she bolted from one of the lowest windows of the castle, holding the warm platter to her chest as she pelted into the forest. Hopefully, the coolness of the air would not suck all of the heat from the dish. Through the trees she darted, goosebumps arising on her skin. Sleeves were not included in their outfits during the day because they welcomed the torrid power of their sun and needed to keep themselves exposed as much as possible-more exposure meant more solar energy, which would be stored for flight. Komand'r had no need for such a thing, being crippled, and mentally noted that she would soon design her own clothing and be sure to include more coverage. 

Finally, she found her goal, sitting in its furry splendor. A small, white, feline being of Tamaran. It had waited patiently for her, and when she offered it the food it greedily lapped up every hint of the treat, mewling afterwards for more. That had been Blackfire's dessert, but she had offered it in a rare act of selflessness to her only friend. The catlike creature pawed at its face and its pointed ears, clawing at the black tufts at the ends as if there were parasites inside. This was a cub of its kind, illegal as any sort of pet because of the large creature it would grow into in a year or so that would not be unlike a tiger. As a kitten it was helpless and probably without parents, wandering about with no way to hunt for itself. A few nights ago Komand'r had spied it from her bedroom window, strikingly white though it was fast and thin among the green shrubbery surrounding the palace. Since she had spotted it, she returned night after night to feed it her dessert. An animal served a silent, welcomed company as opposed to the glaring eyes of her people and the pitying glances of her mother and sister. This animal did not judge her, not even if her hair was black or if her eyes were violet, or if she couldn't fly or…The list went on, but this was a refreshing break from her days of receiving mundane cruelty. At the time she was still a kid, the equivalent of an eleven year old child of Earth. Hopefully, nobody would find her comrade-If someone were to come across it, they would most likely kill it to prevent a future enemy. By feeding it every night, she was keeping it from wandering away from her watchful eye and into the city where its execution would be immediate, no matter how cute it was.

'If only…' she said to the pet, stroking its ivory fur with her slender hand. 'I had the power of my people…Then I would be able to protect you…' Her eyes began to well up with tears, the innocence of a child breaking through her trained system of no emotion. 'If only…'

'Sister! Sister, I wish to enjoy my dessert with you!'

Blackfire's eyes widened as she heard the calls of her nine-year old sister, Koryand'r, telling of how she desired her companionship. Oh no, oh no! She was going to get caught! 'Shoo! Leave!' she hissed to the kitten, but it only licked its lips and then the remaining crumbs of sweetness on the plate, undeterred by the foreign voice of Starfire.

'Big sister! There you are!' cried the redheaded princess, her emerald eyes widening at the sight of her dark-haired older sibling sitting with what might grow up to kill either one of them. 'Is that…? Sister, you know those are not allowed to be kept as pets!' she scolded quietly, so that nobody would hear. They still weren't far from the palace or the city, but it was amazing that Starfire had been able to seek her out so well anyhow. A few inches resided between the younger princess' purple clad toes and the ground, so she had made no noise in her venture to find her sibling.

'Don't tell!' Blackfire growled so ferociously that her sister hovered back a couple of centimeters, taken aback by the sudden danger carried in Komand'r's tone of voice. 'If you tell _anybody_, I'll hate you forever!' the black-haired girl was standing now, looking as if she were capable of murder before she crouched down again, purposefully looking away.

'Of course not!' still holding the platter of her magenta dessert, Kory briefly frowned at her reflection in one of the shining corners of the white dish. The girl, much against popular belief, sometimes wished that she had been born with the same physical conditions as her sister. To have the same problems, to relate to her, to be loved by the one who swore that she would never love anyone of this planet…To be imperfect, to be kin with her kin. Having Blackfire like her would be unfathomably great, and this was her chance to impress her older sibling. The child beamed at her genius, floating over to where her sister desperately tried to ignore her. The redhead descended, placing her own plate on the ground and quickly taking two of the five berries from her platter, popping one into her mouth and letting the tiny beast-to-be wolf down the remaining contents of the plate. Then, the young female offered the last remaining berry to her older sibling.

Surprised, Komand'r could only blink stupidly at the kindness offered by her sibling. She accepted the berry, only to silently feed it to the animal. Starfire wilted, unsettled by her sister's constant displays of the grudge she had done nothing to earn. Sometimes, it annoyed her. But soon her compassion paid off, and for the first time her older sister smiled at her, making her positively glow with pride and happiness. 'Thank you…' the eldest said. Things might have been looking up for the pair...

_Maybe this hatred…Is without a cause…_

_This hatred, it's…_

_Undeserved…_

'Hey, freak!'

She stood in one of the richer public schoolrooms of her planet the next day, where only the finest of education was offered to families in only the finest of financial condition. The ebony-haired girl glared at the papers on her desk, filled with solved equations of high difficulty. Intelligence had always been something in her favor, and it often reaped jealousy from her peers, but nothing could be worse than her physical condition, her crippled lifestyle. The rowdier of her classmates despised her horribly, three boys with parents that had all been in the western land of Kysarr on the date of her birth. On that fateful and dreadful day, Gordonians had attacked and annihilated 3000 people in celebration of the existence of the first princess of centuries, including one father and two mothers of these three miserable children.

Not only did she represent the passing of their loved ones, but these three boys- Kyand'r and the two cronies of his with names that Komand'r didn't care to remember- soon discovered her lack of abilities to fend for herself. And here, they had spilled a smelly, orange, milk-like drink of her planet- All over her finished homework.

'Yeah, I'm talking to you, loser!' jeered Kyand'r from her left side as his two nameless buddies smirked to her right. 'It looks like your homework got messy! Why does it smell so bad, is it because it had to be around you!' She tightened her fists angrily as his comrades guffawed at her expense. They didn't deserve to see her get angry. No matter how foolish those idiots were, they would not get the gift of seeing their actions pay off.

'Hey, listen when I talk to you, dork!' cried Kyand'r, giving her a large shove. One of his cronies took the hint and stuck his foot out, causing her to lose her balance and fall noisily to the well-polished floor. They laughed like the immature brats they were, and the girl began to pull herself up, her face reddening from humiliation and impact with the floor. 'Cut it-Ugh!' one of them, she wasn't sure whom exactly, saw fit to kick her in the side, which knocked the poor girl down again. 'Oh, woops! Didn't see you there, you blend in so well with the ground!' they all exchanged a hearty laugh at his stupid comment and she began to crawl up again, holding her pained stomach. A girl's voice rang out against the hurtful laughs of the three boys, a younger girl-School was over, and she had been wondering why it was taking so long for her sister to emerge from class.

Starfire rushed into the room, eyes ablaze with the startling green fire her people were proud of. 'I do not support such inhuman treatment of my sibling!' She bristled angrily, but she was younger and smaller than them, and it deemed unwise to make her presence known. 'By order of Princess Koryand'r, you will leave her be!'

One boy seemed deterred by this, hesitating to continue their acts of immature cruelty. He had been the one to kick Blackfire in the side earlier. 'Guys, maybe we should-' he began, but was immediately cut off by the smug, bossy voice of Kyand'r. 'Oh, come on, who's gonna stop us? The princess and what army? She's related to this freak, anyways!' he sneered. This was the tallest of the three boys with dark green eyes and short crimson hair. His more uncertain buddy's hair was more of a coppery color. Without further preamble her lunged and pushed the youngest portion of the royal family right off of her feet, reaching with his other hand to smack her in the face.

It was an unpleasant feeling, the sensation of landing on the hard floor on her rump. Before the beatings could continue, another female voice rang out through the hallway. 'Kyand'r!' it called and the leader of the bully troop froze. 'Crap! My Knorfka!' he said, dashing into the hallway. Without wasting any time his two buddies followed, unwilling to carry on without him and leaving the two sisters alone together.

Five minutes later, the two children were still in the classroom, just standing beside Blackfire's wooden desk and pondering, sharing a silent moment. They both just stood noiselessly, not speaking to eachother. As the youngest, Starfire didn't have the attention span or liking of quiet times that her sister did. 'Does that always happen to you?' The child felt her eyes getting misty for her poor sister, who could do nothing to hide her weakness from the rest of the world. That, as well as the bruise forming on her cheek that she was rubbing constantly. 'Why?'

The older princess was tired of this. In one swift movement she snatched up her moist assignment, angrily staring at the floor. The girl was sick of being pushed around, sick of being pitied, and sick of being so different. 'There are few things more miserable than orphaned children.' She said, not even caring to look at the puzzled expression on her sister's face. 'When you're miserable, you need something to be even more miserable than you are, even if they did nothing to deserve it.' With that she snatched what was assumingly her schoolbag up from the floor and left the redhead alone, ignoring the younger alien's calls for her attention.

As a child, Kory didn't take well to being ignored, especially by someone who she had tried to do nothing by help for years on end. Perfect as she was, even Starfire had moments when she felt down. Nothing could hurt her as much as her sister could sometimes, proof of her failure. All that the orange-skinned girl really wanted was for everyone to peacefully get along, but…

With a loud noise, the door burst open, and she happily and hopefully turned to see who was coming into the deserted classroom. Could her sister have undergone a change of heart? The girl's face fell at the sight of the scarlet-headed young Kyand'r from earlier, venturing in to look for something. On his way past the desk at which the youngest addition to the royal family stood, he gave the girl a firm and painful shove for good measure, and she yelped from surprise, rubbing her shoulder as he frantically continued looking around. 'What is it that you are searching for?' she asked.

'My bag!' snarled to boy, but the princess did not heed his tone. 'Did you see it? It had my homework in it and everything, and it was black...'

With a small acknowledging gasp, the female was reminded of the unfamiliar accessory Komand'r had run off with. For vengeance, the ebony-haired reject had stolen this boy's possession. It was one huge vicious cycle, and as a kid Starfire did not know better than to think that this treachery would go on forever unless someone made a move to stop it. But she remembered the envious way her sister treated her, the cruelty she had received merrily for being born in a better condition than her older sibling. As well as confusion, she felt anger. The way her sister treated her made her miserable, because she herself had to be Komand'r outlet since she was the only one that would put up with it. The princess turned to look at Kyand'r as he cursed while seeking out his possession in vain. This had to stop. All of this was making her miserable.

_And when you're miserable…_

Two days had passed, and Komand'r had been working extra hard to avoid her pesky sister. It wasn't that she hated her, but having someone constantly around to pity you was as unbecoming as it was unnerving. The elder of the two princesses would now go to visit her little feline friend with her lunch instead, since its diet demanded for more meat than berries. Since Starfire had not been informed of this change of schedule, the princess had been left to unsuccessfully search for her sister during the nighttime.

It was the late afternoon when the penultimate scene of this story took place, and Komand'r waited patiently for the little animal to turn up. The girl was sitting at the base of the tree where their meetings usually took place, and she occupied herself in staring at the blues and azures that formed the sunsets on her home planet. This time was better, since she did not get alarmingly cold while waiting. Something was wrong, though. Her friend wasn't turning up, and the menacing laugh of a young boy told her why.

Appearing from among the trees was Kyand'r and his palls, sneering and looking plenty amused. 'You're pretty cheeky, even though you don't even belong anywhere! You don't deserve a friend, even if it's a lowly animal!'

In the hand of nameless crony to the left, whimpering and mewling for the attention of its companion, was the unnamed kitten that she had become so close to. 'How dare you!' cried Komand'r, fearing what harm might befall the helpless animal. And yet somehow, nothing prepared her for what happened next.

The girl rushed forwards, and the second anonymous bully snuck up behind her, hooking his arms underneath hers and pulling them up so that she could not break free or move away. This was the copper-haired child that had been uncertain of their cruelty a few days ago, but seemed rather satisfied with this treatment now. 'Stop! Let me go!' demanded Blackfire as she struggled, but of course to no avail.

'Beg! Cry and beg like the scum you really are!' insisted Kyand'r, but in vain. The princess refused point-blank to succumb to his orders. 'Well, if that's the case, then we'll have to hurt the animal instead of you!'

At their leader's command, the boy with her kitten held it by the scruff of the neck and then let go, kicking it while it was in midair so that it crashed into a tree. The creature yelped in pain, not understanding why it was receiving punishment by going to the place that normally offered a reward. 'Hold it down!' ordered Kyand'r, grabbing a large, red rock from the soil near the tree. His buddy obliged.

The outcast's face froze, her violet eyes large with fear and disbelief. No way…This couldn't be happening! 'Stop it! Stop that right now!' she commanded, but did not succeed.

Kyand'r raised the hand holding the rock and then swiftly brought the heavy stone down onto the forehead of the poor kitten, receiving a sickening whine from the animal as it begged for freedom. Its crimson life essence stained the rock after the harsh conflict, always to remain and remind them in the future of the passing of such a horrific deed.

'Let me go!'

Crack. The rock hit its mark yet again, and the infantile beast begged in screams and cries for its life to be spared. Komand'r could see its little white paws, claws out, scratching against the dirt as it tried to liberate itself from the firm Tamaranean hands holding it in place. The furry hind legs kicked desperately against the reddish soil, stained with droplets of the scarlet liquid from the wound on its head. With only two hits of the stone, the skin of the cub's scalp had been broken and pulled back to reveal, in a bloody mess, what the rightful yet unredeemed princess could only interpret as a glimpse of its skull, raw from the beating it was taking.

'No way…Something like this…Why?' whimpered the captive princess. Void of the strength and abilities of her people, it was impossible for her to break free and save the animal that deserved it more than anything.

Once again the stone made contact with the infantile feline, ending its life with a terrible cracking noise. For only a few weeks it had been able to feel and see and breathe, but its short time among the living came to a close before her very eyes.

'_Why!'_

'Stop that this instant!'

It was the cry of her younger sister, having just entered the scene of the murder. It took a moment for what was happening to sink in, but when it did, it looked as if there would be hell to pay. Her eyes became alight with jade flames, her voice threatening and dangerous. 'I do not support such cruel habits! Leave at once!'

'What're you so upset about? You're the one who told us about the cat!' retorted Kyand'r rather snappily, still holding the stone at the ready while his friend inspected the rather immobile condition of their victim.

'What?' The rejected princess turned to face her sister with wide, skeptical lilac eyes. 'You…How could you!'

Starfire was not looking at her. Instead she had her hands clasped together, wringing her fingers nervously as her eyes returned to normal and she glanced at the damage done, writhing guiltily and uncomfortably. 'I didn't know they would go this far…'

Leave it to the boys to change the subject. 'Hey, look, it stopped moving already!' cried the first anonymous boy; the one who had saw fit to hold down the poor creature. Because of this, Copperhead decided to rest and let the princess go. She stood, looking paralyzed with disbelief and shock.

Kyand'r raised his head triumphantly, casting the bloody rock aside with a confident smirk on his tanned face. 'That was fast.'

'I'm so sorry; it's all because I told them about it! I had no idea that they would go this far!' Starfire wailed in guilt and anguish, clapping her hands over her eyes as tears slipped down her face. 'I'm so sorry…' From underneath orange tinted palms one could see the salty drops emanating from the concealed eyes the same color as ripe lime.

It didn't matter what language you spoke or what planet you were from, if you had been there to see her face you would know immediately that the crippled Tamaranean was stunned more than she had ever been. Only one syllable could be formed by her tongue and lips. 'Why…?' Rooted to the spot, the girl could only stare at the remains of her pet, but managed to glance at Koryand'r from the corner of her eye.

_Because when you're miserable…_

The youngest addition to the royal family begged for forgiveness, her eyes covered with canals of tears on her cheeks.

_You need someone…_

But if you stared for as long as you possibly could, if you took in every precise little detail available, you would spot the faintest of ghosts of smiles on the normally innocent face of the redhead.

_Even more miserable than yourself._

Moonset came along, the skies changing colors in their typical explosions of blues and purples, signifying the ending of yet another day on this planet. Leaves of shocking hues colored the ground this season, not unlike the autumn of Earth. They whisked about in the air when a particularly efficient wind would blow by, drifting to fall once again. It was all a game to them, waiting for the wind to pick them up and take them to wherever was interesting, wherever they wanted to be. One leaf, yellowish in color, took a large leap as the gusts propelled it, floating lazily past its peers, avoiding obstacles and trees until it came into contact with somebody's ankle. How unfortunate! It lost its momentum, letting its short-lived break from the pull of gravity come to a close as it scraped against the boot of the thing that had bested its flight.

This particular thing was standing, dressed in a light purple gown with no sleeves and a metallic collar, staring at something near its feet that wasn't a leaf. The figure was trim and lean, about twelve years of age, with smooth ebony hair and tanned skin, even with the gradually declining presence of their sun in this season. The figure, a preteen girl, stared with a lonesome expression to a small stone, the area around it cleared away of any leaves or interruptions so that the browning foliage around it could be seen. The rock was at the base of the very tree that symbolized the end of what it signified, a grave. This tree had been their meeting place, a place where she could sit in quiet company without being judged. The company was still there, according to what many would say about the dead, but the feeling wasn't the same.

Her pet didn't live on in her heart as the deceased loved ones of fiction tended to do. She felt sincerely that she had lost her dear friend completely to the embodiments of unfairness and avarice that were her people. Shivers draped her form, but not because of the cold that used to make her tremble. These were shivers of hatred, small tremors running down her spine filled with intense loathing. If only she had been stronger…

Starfire would hope that these feelings could change. She would continue her faithful and kind life, putting such an inkblot on her perfect pages of existence somewhere where it would never be seen again. Some things, with time and work, could change. Feelings could waver if one put enough effort into it. Bad deeds could be put behind her and never looked at again, the guilt could all be washed away if she scrubbed hard enough.

Now, standing at the grave of her pet, the older sister felt differently.

Just as some things could change, some things could stay the same.

There was at that time and for the rest of her life one thing that would always remain as it was, one thing that would never be forgotten.

The 'rightful' princess, Koryand'r, would never be in the throne that everyone so loyally desired her to reign. Not while her older sister, Komand'r, felt the rushing blood in her veins, felt the righteous justice that made her eyes glow and her palms spark, felt the thirst for vengeance that made her lift off from the ground.

One thing would never change.

She, Blackfire, would never forgive her.


End file.
